Depression
When Life Feels Heavier Than It Should
We often think of depression as just sadness. But for many people, depression feels like much more than that—or, strangely, like nothing at all.
As a clinical psychologist, I often hear clients say:
“I just feel tired all the time”
“I feel like I’m just going through the motions”
“I feel lost”
If that resonates, you’re not alone. Depression is common, but deeply misunderstood.
What Is Depression, Really?
Depression is a mood disorder that affects how you feel, think, and function. It can impact your energy, motivation, ability to experience pleasure, and how you see yourself and the world.
It’s not something you can just “snap out of.” It’s not a sign of weakness, laziness, or failure.
Depression can be loud—crying often, feeling hopeless, isolating yourself—or it can be quiet, showing up as emotional numbness, burnout, or chronic irritability.
Signs of Depression You Might Not Recognise
Depression doesn’t always “look” the way people expect it to. Here are some less obvious ways it might show up:
Feeling flat or numb, even during moments that should bring joy
Overthinking or ruminating—especially about things that feel insignificant to others
Struggling with decision-making, even for simple choices
Sleep changes—either oversleeping or struggling with insomnia
Loss of interest in hobbies, friendships, or daily activities
Guilt or shame over not feeling "grateful enough" for what you have
Increased irritability or feeling constantly on edge
And maybe hardest of all: feeling like you’re “failing at life,” even if you’re still going to work, raising kids, or ticking all the boxes on paper.
What Causes Depression?
There’s rarely one single cause. Depression often arises from a complex interaction of factors, including:
Life circumstances
Long-term stress or burnout
Relationship breakdowns
Unemployment or financial pressure
Feeling stuck in a life that doesn’t align with who you are
Early experiences
Childhood trauma, neglect, or emotional invalidation
Growing up in an environment where emotions weren’t welcomed or supported
Being praised only for performance—not who you are
Biological & psychological factors
Genetic predisposition or family history of depression
Neurochemical imbalances
Co-occurring conditions like ADHD, Autism, or anxiety disorders
Loneliness or disconnection
Feeling misunderstood
A lack of emotionally safe, supportive relationships
Difficulty expressing your true self in your community or culture
Depression Doesn’t Always Look Like Sadness
Some people cry every day. Others smile and push through, even while feeling deeply disconnected inside.
This is often called "high-functioning depression"—but that label can be misleading. Functioning doesn’t mean thriving. And emotional pain is no less real just because you’re still “getting things done.”
If this is you, you might:
Be outwardly successful, but feel hollow inside
Constantly question whether your feelings are valid
Downplay your struggles because “other people have it worse”
Keep saying “I’m fine” while quietly falling apart
So What Can You Do?
Healing from depression isn’t about forcing yourself to “be positive.” It’s about meeting yourself with compassion, understanding what’s driving your pain, and learning new ways to feel, cope, and connect.
Here are a few gentle places to start:
1. Lower the bar on purpose
If depression makes everything feel hard, shrink the task. Brushing your teeth, opening a window, or texting a friend counts. Small acts of self-care are still acts of courage.
Being depressed is like doing everything with a 100kg backpack on your pack. So give yourself some credit. If you went for a walk today, you went for a walk carrying 100kg on your back!
2. Name the voice—not the truth
That inner critic telling you you’re lazy, useless, or failing? That’s depression talking. Therapy can help you learn to challenge that voice with something softer and truer.
3. Reach out—before you’re ready
Depression says, “Don’t bother. You’ll just be a burden.”
The truth is, connection helps. Whether it’s a trusted friend, a GP, or a therapist—you deserve support, even if you’re not sure how to ask.
Therapy Can Help You Understand and Heal
In therapy, we work together to:
Explore where your depression may have started
Understand how it shows up in your thoughts, body, and relationships
Develop new tools to cope, reconnect, and begin feeling again
Shift from surviving to something more sustainable—and eventually, more hopeful
Depression is not a personal failure. It’s a human response to pain, pressure, or disconnection. And it’s something you can move through—with the right support.
If this resonates, I’d love to support you.
Click here to get in touch or follow me on Instagram for more insights into mental health and healing.
